Comic: THEM CATS in “Bypassing”

Why is it easy to bypass things when reality is sitting in your face?

THEM CATS in “Bypassing”

Me Cat (Yellow):
I didn’t get the job.

New Therapist Cat (Blue):
The Universe has something better for you!

Me Cat:
Wait... don’t you think that’s bypassing?

New Therapist Cat:
...Okay.

New Therapist Cat:
Let’s mourn the loss first.

Me Cat:
Okay.

New Therapist Cat:
I need five minutes of silence.

Me Cat:
Sure.

fin.

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Why is it easy to bypass your feelings?

• I know why I bypass: I don’t want to feel the intensity

With RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) it hurts to feel. The intensity is heavy. A reflex is bypassing.

So for people like me, this kind of news can feel much bigger than a typical disappointment. It can sound like your brain is saying:

• “See? I’m not good enough.”

But that’s a feeling—not a fact. Right?

Here’s what is factual:

• I was recruited.

• I passed a phone screen.

• I made it to the interview.

• I was competitive enough to be considered.

How Do We Deal?

We can accept disappointment with grace—the kind that begins with self compassion. For me, holding your chin up isn’t about pretending everything is fine or instilling pride. Closer to pride, though, is recognizing your own dignity while you continue. But in the interim there’s this…messiness. And that’s where Radical Acceptance comes in.

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Resource of the Week

Radical Acceptance — Marsha Linehan / DBT

A compact resource box could say:

Radical acceptance means fully acknowledging reality as it is—even when you dislike it, did not choose it, and wish it were different.

Acceptance does not mean approval, passivity, forgiveness, or giving up. It means ending the additional suffering created by repeatedly insisting that reality should not be reality.

DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) pairs acceptance with mindfulness, which leads to change. For Radical Acceptance, we first recognize what is true, then decide what action—even no action is great— is possible.

Why you may need these journal prompts

What happened?
What do I wish had happened?
What feeling appears when I stop arguing with the difference?
What needs care before I decide what comes next?

I have been casually looking for work to pay bills. A few months ago, I would have tried to go right into reasoning it out. might have gone straight into:

• trying to explain why you should have gotten the job,

• analyzing the hiring process, and thinking, “That recruiter isn’t into me…”

• convincing yourself it was a blessing in disguise

• or trying to immediately replace the loss with another plan.

Instead, I wrote after journaling answers to those questions above:

“I am going to sit with the grief.”

I talk about sitting with sadness in another THEM CATS comic here, in “New Moment,” where the new therapist cat is asking me to change my thinking in a snap, but I want to accept the sadness.

You know? I really set a timer and allowed myself to cry over this loss, and all the feelings.

What wisdom emerged?

“I wanted the promise of that job—sure money.”

That’s incredibly specific, nope. It was “I wanted the job.”

I identified what I was grieving:

• the stability,

• the paycheck,

• the relief,

• the promise that the next chapter might be easier.

I could see it all in front of me.

Then wrote:

“When I’m ready, I can decide what this all means.”

We can’t get anymore radical than this. When we can see, feel and experience, then the balance between acceptance and moving forward go hand in hand. I’m learning that I didn’t deny my feelings, and…I didn’t let this experience dictate the final story. I will just have to keep moving on.

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Coaching, anyone?
Jungian Life Transition Coaching

A five-session coaching arc using dreamwork, archetypes, symbols, tarot, astrology, and creative reflection.

Substack reader rate: $40 per session …that’s $200 for the whole package. You’re worth it. Limited pre-certification spots available.

DM me and mention “SUBSTACK” to learn more.

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I’ve been offering Jungian-style life transition coaching for about two years, integrating dreamwork, archetypes, tarot, astrology, symbols, and creative reflection.

As part of my pre-certification practice, I’m opening a small number of five-session Jungian coaching arcs at a reduced rate of $40 per session, rather than my usual $180 rate.

The five-session arc

Session 1: Intake, goals, and what you want to explore
Session 2: Family of origin, recurring patterns, life themes, and what is asking for your attention
Session 3: Dreamwork, symbols, archetypes, tarot or astrology reflection, or meeting inner parts
Session 4: Integration exercises and supportive practices
Session 5: Reflection, transformation, learning, and next steps

This may be a good fit for you if you’re interested in:

Dreamwork, tarot, astrology, archetypes, life transitions, creative blocks, relationship patterns, personal meaning-making, James Hollis, or Jungian depth psychology.

This is coaching, not therapy. It is best suited for people who feel stable enough to reflect on their inner lives and try gentle practices between sessions.

I have a limited number of pre-certification spots available. DM me and mention “SUBSTACK” for details.

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The Post Script

VISUAL LIQUID MEGAZINE is a feminist forward lifestyle & poetry/art/photography publication. Its mission is to elucidate the work of the world’s most creative outliers. We celebrate rebels, renaissance women/femmes, BIPOC, Queer/LGBTQIA, disabled & aged creative forces

THEM CATS & THEMCATS.COM - The therapeutic comic about two nameless, non-binary cats in therapy sessions. Born from a strange dream in April 2020, these pointy-eared, fat-nosed cats transformed into the visual language millions didn’t know they needed to process their deepest pain and healing. Until now.

The cats are out every Thursday at 6 a.m. PST in the THEM CATS section on Visual Liquid Megazine barring a Void Course of the Moon.

© 2026 T. McCarthy aka Tess McCarthy / Visual Liquid Media. All rights reserved worldwide. THEM CATS: ABOUT MY THERAPY.